Here I Am

It has been a while. Some have wondered why I haven't written in the last 5 months. To be honest, I just haven't had the inclination. It has been a busy and in some ways a discouraging year. A lot of good things have happened but so have some not so great things.

We have decided to close the Open Door. I know the irony is hard to ignore... It has been hard, Running a church takes a lot of energy. In many cases the discouragement outweighs the encouragement. It is draining to say the least. It has taken a toll on my family that we can not continue to pay. At least not for the time being.

So we move on. On Rock is moving to A Ma Baie and there will be plenty to focus on as we build into that community. We are excited about the possibilities. We move in November 1st.

I plan to write more often,... But no promises.


Peace,

K

Thge Kingdom of God is at hand

What does that mean? What did Jesus mean when He said it? The Jewish people were looking for God's Kingdom to come. The Pharisees thought if they could just follow the law, God would bring his Kingdom. Sadduceess thought they just needed to play it cool and suck up to the Romans and wait patiently for God's Kingdom. Essenes thought being holy and separated would bring it, so they lived in the desert. The Zealots wanted to go to war and defeat the Romans and then God's Kingdom would come.

Into this story walks Jesus. The Jewish people are looking down the road, looking forward to the Kingdom of God coming and Jesus says, "It is at hand". That means, it is right here, you are in it! You are part of that story, or, are you? This story, if you really hear it makes a sobering statement. Look at your hand. God's Kingdom is that close, He is here. So, what are we doing to be a part of that story. How are we, you and me, advancing the Kingdom of God?

I would argue that most of us are wrapped up in the details and distractions of our own lives and we don't consider that we are part of the Kingdom of God. As part of that Kingdom, we have a responsibility to love and live Jesus in our communities every day. If the Kingdom of God is here, now, my life should not be about me. It should be about Loving God and the world with all that I am, in my everyday routines.

Can I do that? Can I sustain an effort to put others above "me" and do what is right and honoring to my creator?

I am not sure, but I do sense the urgency of Jesus' words.

Peace,

K

Why Church?

It is amazing how many people I know have walked away from church in the last year. Unfortunately, some of them have the idea that they can do relationship with God, without doing church. There is also the opinion that we can do community without doing church. These sound sensible at first, but it is misguided. Here is why:

Christianity was birthed in relationship. We need each other in order to stay the course and not get distracted. I need you. I need you to be there to hear and see what I am going through and how I am living. I need you to ask me questions and hold me accountable to the distractions that I allow to become my focus. I need you to comfort me when I am down and laugh with me when things are good. We need each other to keep going on this journey.

We need each other for encouragement. I was talking with person "A" the other night. He did not feel like coming to church the other night. Person"B" wanted to come but needed a lift from person "A". Because, person "B" wasn't in church, person "C", who they have a relationship with, didn't come. If “A” had have come to church, “B” and “C” would have been there as well. We operate in relationship and therefore how we act effects everyone else around us. Many people have made comments about being discouraged because other people aren't there.

A month ago, someone told me they were encouraged by a conversation they had with someone else at church. The other person didn't even remember the conversation and yet, they had encouraged someone. This only happens because we are together. Just because you can’t see all the benefits up front, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

Outside of Church community rarely happens. Our community is a very good example of this. Since several people have left, saying that community will continue, we have rarely seen or heard from them. When we do get together, the conversation is more like weather-talk than real issues, because we do not really know what is going on in each others lives. We have less in common. Church helps make this happen because we are all in the same place at the same time and have connection. I have been asked over and over the last few months where "so and so" is. People ask because they miss you.

Outside of church/community accountability doesn't happen. Some have suggested that they do not want accountability. This is a very dangerous view. You will not find favorable research anywhere for the idea of no accountability. We as humans need accountability. I have had several conversations lately about people others see as "regressing". Their behavior has become more hedonistic and there language has become vulgar. The unfortunate thing is that these are just symptoms of what happens to the heart when we are not connected with each other and God. When this starts to happen within community, we are there to challenge each other, ask questions, encourage each other and pray for each other

Church was "invented" because we need to be together, to be challenged by God’s word and worship God, which most of us don't do on our own. God knows what we are like.

Unfortunately, as much as we have strived to be different, in so many ways we are still the same, because we do not fight the philosophy of our culture. We have a tendency to be consumers first. We judge everything, including church and community only on the basis of what I get out of it. We rarely consider what we can put into it. What do I have to offer, whether I feel like it or not, because that is what God asks of us. Someone once told me that they weren't coming to our house for open house anymore, because they didn't think it was right that Syl had to clean up after everybody. Apparently the concept of being a part of the community and helping clean up and/or recruiting others to do the same never occurred to this person.

When you aren't in church, it affects the rest of us. You are missed. Many times it is discouraging to others. When a part of our body is missing it hurts us. The world can not see how we love each other if we never get together. The church is the visible manifestation of Christ in the world.

For most of us every week is a matter of do I put myself above the "we", do I do what I need to do, for my sake and the sake of the community or what I feel like doing?

Sometimes the road is long

It seems the first line I write is, "It as been a long time...." 2009 continues to be a challenge. Lately I am struggling with how The OD is shaping up. It just seems that people enjoy what they get from community and think very little about what they contribute.

We have had several people "vote with their feet" in the past 6 months, without giving any indication as to what they are unhappy with. If people are invested in community, then you slug through issues together. You are family. It is confusing and hurtful when people who have been at the core of the group, just leave, without saying anything.

It seems that few people are willing to struggle. However, without the struggle, we are just another club.

If I were to be honest, I would have to admit that in many ways, we are becoming that which we left.

Peace,

K

Been Gone

It has been a while since I have posted. It is not that there was nothing going on, on the contrary, too much was going on. It has been a very heavy period this 2009. Dealing with the suffering and subsequent death of my Father-in-law, who was very much a Father to me, On Rock finances(always fun in an economic "downturn"), and keeping family going. I think I need a nap.

Yesterday my oldest daughter, Kiki(18), moved to London Ontario, to try out life in a different city. I think she is a little nomadic. Lot's of changes. Someone said 2009 was going to be a year of change, I am hoping the rest of the change this year is for the better. So far, it is not exactly promising.....

Peace,

K

A Conference

Some friends of mine are organizing a conference in Toronto on March 21. I am hoping to go. I went two years ago and it was a great day. Met a lot of cool people. You can check it out at the url below.

www.epconference.net

Peace,

K

It's sad.....

I just watched a youtube sermon/review on The Shack by Mark Driscoll. I have to say it was one of those reviews that I have come to expect from evangelicals. He starts by making fun of the idea that God would meet someone in a "shack". He goes on to criticize the fact that God the Father, first appears as a black older woman called Papa, to Mack. He calls this "Godess worship", when it is clearly explained that "Papa" chose to appear this way because Mack, envisions God as a little old white haired man, as many people do. He argus that Father God is a spirit. Yes Mark, most of us get that. We also get that for the sake of the point of the book God appeared as a human. This was a story the author originally wrote for his kids. It wasn't meant as a literal desciption of God. it is actually a pretty amazing picture of the trinity and how God views us. His review is nothing more than looking for something to attack.

It is sad that Mark feels the need to tear down this work and tell people to avoid it because he doesn't get it. Mark at times has some really good things to say. I wish he could do what he does, without attacking others.

Peace,

K

Tired

I am finding myself tired these days. It may partly be due to the weather change. I don't mind winter when it is here, I hate the anticipation of it. But, it also has to do with the ongoing rollercoaster that cancer in the family can be. Joe is back in the hospital for chemo. The Dr.'s are saying this is their last option and therefore,... ours as well. We thank God for every day that He has given us with Joe, they have been a gift. We just want more. He seems to be responding to the chemo, but we won't know what that means until,..... later.

My new toy

Well, finally, the time has come. Next spring I will be driving this baby.....

Who are we and what are we doing?

I was hanging out yesterday with my buddy Pernell and his wife Margie. We went to a conference on Urban Missions, which was sponsered by the PAOC. It was more a symposium for their denomination on what they should be doing in terms of Urban Missions. Greg Paul spoke last night on how the poor need to be the center of what the church is. Very challenging. He went back into the Old Testeament and layed the ground work for the poor being the center. I am still working this over in my head.

He talked about the need for a reformation in the church. I beleive it is already happening, whether the church wants to accept it or not. We are a part of that reformation, but we have by no means "arrived".

I was however amazed and disappointed at the same time at how those who follow Jesus, downplay some of the very clear directives and warnings Jesus gives us in order to stay comfortable.

I am still working this through and probably will be for a long time.

I went out for a beer with Greg afterward. He is much more optimistic about the chances of the present church reforming than I am. He feels God's call to educate the present church and has been focusing energy there. I applaud him. My feeling at the moment is that as 30 and unders leave the church, they will be the ones to start new works that relect better, what God's heart really is for our world. I could be wrong....

At times thankless

In any community you have people who come and go. Some people stay around long enough to get whatever it is they need and leave, others just find that the intimacy of community is too threatening. Some do not understand the effort to live transparently as we struggle to walk with Jesus and live in this at times, shitty world.

It is okay that people come and go, but it is discouraging when they leave and talk trash. A friend told us the other night about someone they met who was once a part of our community, who said some fairly slanderous things about my wife and I. The unfortunate thing is that these things are also being shared with a friend who is trying to figure this whole faith thing out, and was a part of our community. It sucks when a fellow follower discourages someone who is searching.

What we heard last night borders on tragic. It takes discipline to give this stuff to God and move on. It sucks, especially when none of the concerns are ever brought to you.

Peace,

K

My Ecological Footprint....

Just got smaller. Yesterday I purchased a 2007 Yaris. I have driven Vans and muscle cars for most of my life, but I just can't stomach giving $400-$500 a month to gas companies. I drive alone most of the time, so the van, although a need for the food bank, is a waste the rest of the week. So as of today, It will be used on Mondays for the food bank and other deliveries or pick ups. Every other day, I will be driving my little blue Yaris hatchback. Honk and wave......

K

God moves and we get to be a part of it

I have had a few pretty cool conversations in the past few weeks with people exploring faith. A friend of Kiki’s came over to talk this week. She has considered herself an athiest up until recently when she went through some stuff that basically made it clear to her that she was not in control of her life. Her mom gave her a cross that belonged to her Grandmother and she says whenever she wears it, she feels an inexplicable peace. So, she is trying to figure out how Jesus fits into her life. She was at monday night bible study and loved it.

A friend of Petr’s says she wanted to meet me because Petr has talked with her about our community. She is very open spiritually and says she has dreams. She started hanging out with Petr, because she sensed something different in him. She also came out to bible study on monday and says she will be back.

It is amazing that God brings these people along to our community and we get to live out Jesus with them. As I look back, this is how God has always moved among us. He touches lives and then uses us to help reveal His love. I don’t claim to understand it, but there is a long list of people God has privileged us to rub elbows with.

Please pray for these two girls, as God moves in them.

peace,

K

This is how we roll...

This is what a church planters meeting looks like. That is just how we roll. The boys from Kingston and Jared came in to Montreal for a day of meetings. It was the best meeting day I have ever been to. We ate, we drank, we went swimming. We actually had part of our meeting in the pool.

It was an amazing day of sharing our hearts and reconnecting. I just wish I had a picture of Al, the Pirate Pastor. God is doing some cool things in our little part of the Kingdom. I am blessed to be walking with these guys. K

A Strange One

This has been a strange week. Lot's going on. A friend of Kayla's died last friday after a night of partying. He was hit by a train at our local train station. He was 15. Kirstyn's convocation was last night. She has finished High School. Now there is Prom, etc..... That is just the family side. Ministry is busy like crazy as well.

I am finding that I need to spend more time talking with God. I need solitude, meditation and prayer, just so I can keep my head on straight. This is turning out to be quite a challenge in my family, ministry, community life. However, I just have to make it happen.

K

Integrity and life

I was out with a friend last night and we got to talking about living out what we say we believe. He was pointing out that there are people who say one thing and live another. For example, people who participate in certain activities when they think nobody is looking,..... or nobody who would care is looking. The fact is that when we call ourselves followers of Jesus, people are always looking. Even if it is just the people "involved". Sometimes people need another person to take the high road in order for them to follow. They end up following on the low road, wishing somebody would lead them to the high one.

This happens all the time in conversation. Vulgarity leading to more vulgarity. Discouraging rather than encouraging. You see, we speak of grace and cling to God's grace for us, but do we extend that grace to others. The same can be said for compassion, forgiveness, etc.

My friend pointed out that this is especially disappointing when the other person is supposed to be a leader and behaves in ways that do not show Christ. I think this is why Paul said, do not aspire to be a leader for the responsibility is greater as well.

The bottom line is, many are longing for an example to follow. What kind of example am I? What kind of example are you?

Dig a Hole

So, the diving board on our pool started coming out of the ground this weekend. Apparently the cement pad was way to small. I spent part of yesterday jackhammering and digging until my back was seizing. I have to dig about 4 feet deep. I am 2/3 of the way there, I'll see if I can do the rest today. Meanwhile my wife's beautiful yard has a gaping hole in it.

Syl is coming back from Edmonton tonight. She was visiting our "oldest daughter", Lenny. I am sure they had more fun than I did digging the stupid hole...... Yeah for Macallan Cask Strength. It will be good to have my wife back.

K

I am praying...

I don't have a clue about raising money. I have been running a "faith" mission for 16 years, and I suck at raising money. As a matter of fact, I know that God has made it very clear, that He opens the wallets, not me. We need a bigger facility. So, I am praying that God would give us 1.5 million dollars. I am also asking that He do it within the next 24 hours.

Peace,

K

God's Grace

So, I met this week with the person who was the subject of my “Question of Grace” post. It was a good and hard conversation. People do crazy things for a lot of messed up reasons. Most times they are wounded and in need of love, discipline, healing, compassion, etc. We talked for quite a while.

In the end, it was obvious that God was already laying groundwork for our conversation. The cocaine dealing career is over. The actively seeking God and figuring out how to walk with Him has begun. Friends will be key. He is not out of the woods yet, so pray for him. He was only dealing for a short time, but that world is a dark place. But, God is faithful.

Peace

A Question of Grace?

Here is a very real problem we are dealing with. There is someone who has returned to our community after being gone for a year or two. This person was a Vault kid and professed to begin a relationship with Jesus. In the time that this person has been gone they started dealing cocaine. this is confirmed information, so now I have to figure out how to deal with it. What limitations do I set? How hard should I be on this person? How hard and fast? What would Jesus do? Seriously. I know what "I" want to do with it.....

Peace,

K